The main question of Mark Davis' sermon last night was that we often do things for the Lord out of a sense of obligation, but when was the last time you did something just because you love Jesus? When was the last time I parented out of a simple, burning love for Christ? Or visited someone? Or ministered to someone?
June Hanks, our good friend who has taken a leave of absence from UTC to minister to those in Haiti, expressed her greatest desire: that she would "ooze Jesus" to the people of Haiti. Jesus is the hope for the devastated land of Haiti. And June knows that, and knows that while the prostheses and physical therapy she offers to wounded Haitians is helpful, it is not the solution to the deepest needs of that country. It's Jesus. Only he can heal Haiti.
Mark asked another question: for fear of legalism, are we often lazy and undisciplined? I don't know that I'm afraid of legalism. I think I'm just lazy and undisciplined. I don't make the most of every opportunity I'm given, and I am not doing everything I can with everything I have to impact the world for Christ. I want to do it, but it is easier to think about doing so many things later, not today. Such thinking never gets around to accomplishing anything for the kingdom of God.
But don't hear this as a condemnation. It's not.
The thing is, that kind of passion is birthed out of really seeing Christ. Seeking him, finding him. It starts with a prayer: Lord, open my eyes so I can really see you. Because if I really see you, it will be the delight of my heart to serve you in any way, at any time.
It also generally continues in the word of God. Psalm 145:4-5: "One generation will commend your works to another; they will tell of your mighty acts. They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty, and I will meditate on your wonderful works." God's works, his grace, his might, are all poured out on the pages of Scripture. And when I meditate on these works, I see Jesus.
Have you ever heard of Marilyn Laszlo? She was a young girl growing up in Indiana when she sensed a call to go to be a missionary. She studied linguistics and went to Papua New Guinea to translate Scripture into a language that did not have Scripture. She did. You can read about her ministry here. The coolest part of the story was that after she learned the language, and developed a grammar, and translated Scripture into their language, and sent it off, the moment came when the boxes of new Bibles were being transported by canoe down the river to the tribe. And at that moment, the chant began: "Here comes the Word of God! Here comes the Word of God!" Do I approach Scripture with that kind of hope, passion, anticipation? Here comes the Word of God, exactly what I need to hear! Here comes my chance this morning to be transformed by Christ!
My heart must be affected. As Jonathan Edwards noted, affection causes activity. I will do what I'm passionate about. My desires will generally determine the shape of my day--or at least my attitude about what that day holds. Lord, shape my heart by your word. Make me a mom who is controlled by your Spirit.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Last Words
Tonight we will conclude FPCC's 59th annual missions conference. We have really enjoyed getting to know some of our international ministry partners, serving God all over the world. Some of them are just heading out into the field for the first time in November, little ones in tow. I feel a kinship with them; we have all been called to full-time ministry, we have the same passion for the gospel and for people knowing Christ and experiencing the gospel of grace. We all depend on the same great God to make anything happen.
Our speaker last night was Mark Davids, the pastor of Park Cities church and a good friend of Tim's. He taught us so clearly and faithfully from Psalm 145 and 1 Samuel 17: the first and last recorded words of David. He began in Psalm 145, the fruit of a life lived with God: "One generation will commend your works to another; they will tell of your mighty acts. They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty, and I will meditate on your wonderful works." (4-5)
After a roller-coaster life, David could say with confidence, "Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.... They will tell of the power of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds. They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness. The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love." (3,6-8) The verses are almost too familiar, so I need to slow down: God's greatness no one can fathom. I like the ESV better: his greatness is unsearchable. It is beyond my comprehension. Mark offered a helpful illustration: If you took a dixie cup and filled it with sand on the beach, and then extracted every grain of sand, and each grain represented an attribute of God, you would have a lot of attributes of God. But it would only be a beginning. God's greatness is unsearchable. And we will have eternity to continue to discover his greatness, and majesty, and grace, and compassion, and abundant goodness, and love. And, being finite, we will never comprehend the infinite in his entirety; there will always be infinitely more to know about God.
Mark then turned to the first recorded words of David: the story of David and Goliath. Another passage in danger of becoming too familiar. A real boy encountering a really monstrous warrior. A real shepherd, who had trusted God to enable him to fight of real bears and wild animals who were after his sheep. It's a remarkable story. David's first words are indignant: "What will be done for the man who kills this Philistine and removes this disgrace from Israel? Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?" (1 Sam 17:26) He comes to the army camp to bring food for his brothers. He sees the giant, and all he sees is a disgrace. Why should one man defy the armies of God? As he explains to Saul, "Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." (17:36-37) The bottom line is that it's not about David or his strength or courage. It's about the living God. Delivering David from the Philistine would be no more difficult for God than delivering him from the bear or lion. Deliverance is deliverance, and David knew God could do it.
Because David knew that God is a God who acts, he would not stand by and let God be shamed. God delivers; David wanted God to use him to accomplish his work. And seeing God's mercy, his faithfulness, his ability to deliver his people, David could not help but speak: "I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever." (Ps 145:1-2) After a lifetime of observing God's faithfulness, he pens this psalm of praise. He is compelled by the love of God.
The question, then, is whether all of us who trust Christ for our salvation are similarly compelled to speak of the goodness and greatness of God. I am reminded of A. W. Tozer's comment that no book should be written unless forced out through inward pressure. Is the gospel forced out through inward pressure in my heart? Do I share the marvel of what God has accomplished on my behalf out of obligation, or out of a burning love for Christ, a deep gratitude for what he has done for me? I was lost and utterly incapable of reaching out to God; he rescued me. He did for me what I could not do for myself.
Mark challenged us that, by and large, we are not very deep. Sure, we may have taken our head-knowledge of the gospel and connected it to our hearts--which, for many, is the sign of depth. But, he noted, that's not depth--it's only deep if that's how you define depth. Connecting head and heart is not how scripture defines spiritual depth. It becomes deep when the gospel proceeds from head and heart and is forced out through hands and feet by inward pressure--the love of Christ compels us. We must speak. We must declare--tell clearly--what God has done. We must act on the gospel.
I think this is part of what I have been trying to figure out for years now. I have been deeply unsatisfied with the spiritual formation that I have studied and taught in the past. Even though the focus is God, it seems inherently self-absorbed. And yes, I know, one is to undertake a balance of inward and outward disciplines; but even this program begins to look like a simple exercise in saving myself. I must position myself for spiritual growth--it is all up to me. If you've read my article on the disciplines, you know that I struggle theologically with some of the underlying assumptions that a lot of writers in the spiritual disciplines make. But I think that part of what I have been trying to see is that connecting the head and heart is not enough--and it's not even just about adding service. It's about being compelled by the love of Christ to proclaim the gospel. It is a deep knowledge and passion for God that is exhibited in what I do and say, and a life that finds its definition in expressing thanks to God for who he is and what he has done. It is so easy to become self-absorbed, sometimes by problems, sometimes by joys, even by focus on spiritual growth. What David reminds us is that it is completely not about us. It's about God, his plans and purposes, the redemption of his people. We get to be part of it. And that's it.
I am looking forward to tonight.
Our speaker last night was Mark Davids, the pastor of Park Cities church and a good friend of Tim's. He taught us so clearly and faithfully from Psalm 145 and 1 Samuel 17: the first and last recorded words of David. He began in Psalm 145, the fruit of a life lived with God: "One generation will commend your works to another; they will tell of your mighty acts. They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty, and I will meditate on your wonderful works." (4-5)
After a roller-coaster life, David could say with confidence, "Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.... They will tell of the power of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds. They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness. The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love." (3,6-8) The verses are almost too familiar, so I need to slow down: God's greatness no one can fathom. I like the ESV better: his greatness is unsearchable. It is beyond my comprehension. Mark offered a helpful illustration: If you took a dixie cup and filled it with sand on the beach, and then extracted every grain of sand, and each grain represented an attribute of God, you would have a lot of attributes of God. But it would only be a beginning. God's greatness is unsearchable. And we will have eternity to continue to discover his greatness, and majesty, and grace, and compassion, and abundant goodness, and love. And, being finite, we will never comprehend the infinite in his entirety; there will always be infinitely more to know about God.
Mark then turned to the first recorded words of David: the story of David and Goliath. Another passage in danger of becoming too familiar. A real boy encountering a really monstrous warrior. A real shepherd, who had trusted God to enable him to fight of real bears and wild animals who were after his sheep. It's a remarkable story. David's first words are indignant: "What will be done for the man who kills this Philistine and removes this disgrace from Israel? Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?" (1 Sam 17:26) He comes to the army camp to bring food for his brothers. He sees the giant, and all he sees is a disgrace. Why should one man defy the armies of God? As he explains to Saul, "Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." (17:36-37) The bottom line is that it's not about David or his strength or courage. It's about the living God. Delivering David from the Philistine would be no more difficult for God than delivering him from the bear or lion. Deliverance is deliverance, and David knew God could do it.
Because David knew that God is a God who acts, he would not stand by and let God be shamed. God delivers; David wanted God to use him to accomplish his work. And seeing God's mercy, his faithfulness, his ability to deliver his people, David could not help but speak: "I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever." (Ps 145:1-2) After a lifetime of observing God's faithfulness, he pens this psalm of praise. He is compelled by the love of God.
The question, then, is whether all of us who trust Christ for our salvation are similarly compelled to speak of the goodness and greatness of God. I am reminded of A. W. Tozer's comment that no book should be written unless forced out through inward pressure. Is the gospel forced out through inward pressure in my heart? Do I share the marvel of what God has accomplished on my behalf out of obligation, or out of a burning love for Christ, a deep gratitude for what he has done for me? I was lost and utterly incapable of reaching out to God; he rescued me. He did for me what I could not do for myself.
Mark challenged us that, by and large, we are not very deep. Sure, we may have taken our head-knowledge of the gospel and connected it to our hearts--which, for many, is the sign of depth. But, he noted, that's not depth--it's only deep if that's how you define depth. Connecting head and heart is not how scripture defines spiritual depth. It becomes deep when the gospel proceeds from head and heart and is forced out through hands and feet by inward pressure--the love of Christ compels us. We must speak. We must declare--tell clearly--what God has done. We must act on the gospel.
I think this is part of what I have been trying to figure out for years now. I have been deeply unsatisfied with the spiritual formation that I have studied and taught in the past. Even though the focus is God, it seems inherently self-absorbed. And yes, I know, one is to undertake a balance of inward and outward disciplines; but even this program begins to look like a simple exercise in saving myself. I must position myself for spiritual growth--it is all up to me. If you've read my article on the disciplines, you know that I struggle theologically with some of the underlying assumptions that a lot of writers in the spiritual disciplines make. But I think that part of what I have been trying to see is that connecting the head and heart is not enough--and it's not even just about adding service. It's about being compelled by the love of Christ to proclaim the gospel. It is a deep knowledge and passion for God that is exhibited in what I do and say, and a life that finds its definition in expressing thanks to God for who he is and what he has done. It is so easy to become self-absorbed, sometimes by problems, sometimes by joys, even by focus on spiritual growth. What David reminds us is that it is completely not about us. It's about God, his plans and purposes, the redemption of his people. We get to be part of it. And that's it.
I am looking forward to tonight.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Aircraft Carrier
Yesterday was Day Two of our missions conference, and I have to say that it's probably my favorite missions conference yet. There is such a sense of purpose and hope at church under our new senior pastor; a great encouragement. Tim challenged us with a sermon on Acts 20, and asked one question that will stick with me: as a church, do we want to be a cruise ship, or an aircraft carrier? One bends over backwards to meet every felt need of those aboard. People lounge around in the sun waiting for the next activity on the schedule. Or, do we long to be an aircraft carrier, equipping, refreshing, ministering to people with a mission, sending them out, welcoming them home? That's what I want to spend my life serving. To enable a consumer mentality to flourish in a church is to render it useless in the Kingdom. It becomes self-absorbed and lazy, and usually full of dissension; that's what happens when people are bored. I am excited for our church, and eager to see what God will do next. I am profoundly grateful.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Still dark...
It is far too late into my morning time for me to expect to get to write much of anything; 7:15, and the little ones are not up yet. I have a feeling it is due in part to the fact that it is still dark. Soon, daylight savings.
And now Lily is up.
I hear her talking to Daddy, and heading my way to retrieve me from my study and blow out my seven candles. It is her morning routine. She blows them out, left to right, and then I usually get a quick Lily hug or a Lily kiss. Sometimes she brings an armful of blankies or little stuffed animals with her.
We have a busy day today--hitting the gym as early as possible (childcare opens at 8), a quick workout, time to get ready, and off to the church by 10. Today is the WIC meeting of all of the female missionaries, followed by lunch. Then home for naps, and back at church by five...in the sanctuary by 5:15 to rehearse, then night two of the missions conference.
And here is Lily. She has brought a blanket and Panda, who is sleeping in a tiny pink shoebox. Lily had instructed me to awaken Panda (who is, apparently, sleeping because he has allergies) once she had blown out all the candles. I was gently scolded with stormy eyes when I failed to wake him up. With a laugh I lifted the box lid to find Panda snuggled in the box with Lily's special blankie. Now she is off to get a spoon to feed Panda. Better get to making some breakfast for my own little Pandas.
And now Lily is up.
I hear her talking to Daddy, and heading my way to retrieve me from my study and blow out my seven candles. It is her morning routine. She blows them out, left to right, and then I usually get a quick Lily hug or a Lily kiss. Sometimes she brings an armful of blankies or little stuffed animals with her.
We have a busy day today--hitting the gym as early as possible (childcare opens at 8), a quick workout, time to get ready, and off to the church by 10. Today is the WIC meeting of all of the female missionaries, followed by lunch. Then home for naps, and back at church by five...in the sanctuary by 5:15 to rehearse, then night two of the missions conference.
And here is Lily. She has brought a blanket and Panda, who is sleeping in a tiny pink shoebox. Lily had instructed me to awaken Panda (who is, apparently, sleeping because he has allergies) once she had blown out all the candles. I was gently scolded with stormy eyes when I failed to wake him up. With a laugh I lifted the box lid to find Panda snuggled in the box with Lily's special blankie. Now she is off to get a spoon to feed Panda. Better get to making some breakfast for my own little Pandas.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Turning a corner
I am sitting in a quiet house with two sleeping children snuggled into their beds for afternoon nap. Though Lily's naps have become less certain, this isn't unusual. The difference? It's 3:30, and they are completely tuckered out after their first day of preschool. Not a peep from that end of the house. And I sit here, having had a wonderfully productive morning of finishing one chapter, starting another, getting Canon's birthday gift boxed and mailed, getting laundry put away, more laundry in...and now a little break to sit and reflect on this new phase of life.
True, I've had a babysitter over the last few months so I could churn out this book. But there's something infinitely better about being alone in your own house. I know I am going to get to some of the projects that have been on my mind, use those spots in between writing inspiration to get the dishwasher unloaded or pick up a few toys. Four and a half hours, twice a week, counting the time it takes to drop them off and pick them up. I'll take it.
They both had a great time. Lily told me that her favorite part was the playground, especially climbing up on "thirty steps." Jack liked the time singing songs, and chose "Itsy Bitsy Spider"as his favorite song. Jack made a little paper crown with a tugboat, and Lily made a book about God's love. Everything I could ask for as my little ones come home from preschool.
And now, naps.
And quiet.
True, I've had a babysitter over the last few months so I could churn out this book. But there's something infinitely better about being alone in your own house. I know I am going to get to some of the projects that have been on my mind, use those spots in between writing inspiration to get the dishwasher unloaded or pick up a few toys. Four and a half hours, twice a week, counting the time it takes to drop them off and pick them up. I'll take it.
They both had a great time. Lily told me that her favorite part was the playground, especially climbing up on "thirty steps." Jack liked the time singing songs, and chose "Itsy Bitsy Spider"as his favorite song. Jack made a little paper crown with a tugboat, and Lily made a book about God's love. Everything I could ask for as my little ones come home from preschool.
And now, naps.
And quiet.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Vacation
As Lily reminds me, we are "far from home." But that's not what defines this vacation for me. I think it's more the fact that I have slept through the night without interruption every night since we got here, and have generally gotten to sleep in past seven while Grandma hangs out with the kids. Jack has slept late; maybe he senses that we're on vacation. Rest--that's a huge part of this real vacation! Help with the kids, play time at pretty parks and the beach, swimming, it's all wonderful. But on a much more basic level, I finally feel rested. It may get undone on our drive back across the country, and we certainly will hit the ground running. But I'm not thinking about that. I'm resting, enjoying, and soaking up the days with sunshine and cool breezes and beauty and family and friends. And I'm feeling really grateful for this break.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Trees by flowing streams
Yesterday, Jack was carrying around the little orange Gideon Bible that Lily used to carry all the time. "My Bi-bowl," he says. He pretends to read it. I can't help but look at Jack and see a tiny little pastor. He loves to pray, his sweet little whisper prayers. When I hurt my back, he just kept praying all evening that Mommy's back would get better, and he still prays it at meal times. He loves to sing Jesus Loves Me, Jesus Loves the Little Children, and Praise Him, Praise Him. These are his favorite songs, and he will often be singing them to himself, or sit at the piano and sing them. He and Lily both ask for their Bible story after dinner every night, and Jack insists on holding hands when we sing and pray after the story. It is a precious time, and I love how he looks around at his family with a smile as he sings. He has such a precious little heart; he's such a love. I hope he retains that sweet spirit as he grows up. His dad did.
Some of the verses I read this morning reminded me of Lily and Jack, and my prayer for them. They're from Isaiah 44:
3 I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,
and my blessing on your descendants.
4 They will spring up like grass in a meadow,
like poplar trees by flowing streams.
5 One will say, 'I belong to the LORD ';
another will call himself by the name of Jacob;
still another will write on his hand, 'The LORD's,'
and will take the name Israel.
This is my deepest prayer for my children--that they would know they belong to the Lord, and would flourish like beautiful trees well-watered by the Spirit. I see the Lord working in their lives, and I long for the day when they really know Christ as their Savior and are confident in their adoption into his family. It reminds me that in my daily life, my chief goal is to point them to Christ, and to our need for him, rather than just parenting their behavior. It's a fine line sometimes. Lord, give me the patience and love for them to keep showing them you no matter what else is going on.
Some of the verses I read this morning reminded me of Lily and Jack, and my prayer for them. They're from Isaiah 44:
3 I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,
and my blessing on your descendants.
4 They will spring up like grass in a meadow,
like poplar trees by flowing streams.
5 One will say, 'I belong to the LORD ';
another will call himself by the name of Jacob;
still another will write on his hand, 'The LORD's,'
and will take the name Israel.
This is my deepest prayer for my children--that they would know they belong to the Lord, and would flourish like beautiful trees well-watered by the Spirit. I see the Lord working in their lives, and I long for the day when they really know Christ as their Savior and are confident in their adoption into his family. It reminds me that in my daily life, my chief goal is to point them to Christ, and to our need for him, rather than just parenting their behavior. It's a fine line sometimes. Lord, give me the patience and love for them to keep showing them you no matter what else is going on.